ENT visit

So after some gentle pressure from Ms. Gwen and Ms. Gladys, I decided to put the grant down, and get to the ENT appointment...between my root canal, breast feeding, and therapies, for some reason I didn't think I could make it. They made it clear to me, after hearing my concerns, that I needed to get myself there.

In short,

• The mucus/throw up thing is thought by the doctor to be an allergy issue. This, even though El's been taking Claritin for the past 2 weeks with no significant difference. We will now try Singulair. The doctor took a good hard look at El, and said, "He looks like an allergic kid." ? What gave him away? THe snot? The dark circles? The drool? Help us the eff out, please!


• El's tube in his left (good) ear has come out, and he has fluid in the ear (courtesy of the tympanogram). We have drops to relieve the fluid, and after our follow-up, I imagine we'll schedule another surgery to replace the tube. Have you seen El in a hospital gown? I just hate the whole child-on-drugs thing, whether it's anesthesia or ADD drugs, you name it.

slightly drugged up here for tubes, round 1 in July 07

• And after forcing the issue because the doc doesn't let me finish most sentences (ARGHHHH) we will be seeing a pediatric GI to be sure that there's not food where it shouldn't be.

I'll be looking for

-decreased mouthing

-better sleeping.

Stay tuned, True Believers. Our adventures are far from over!

Show's Over

I love that, upon exiting a kindergarten admissions-related Play Date,

Ana yanks the two elastic bands that tightly bind her braids,

throws them at me, and shakes her hair out while running towards the playground.

No comments?

Hey folks-
It's not personal...apparently, there's some reason I'm not getting comments you're posting.
Any bloggers out there know what my setting should be to receive them again?
Send me a personal email if these &*(% comments don't work.
ty

Because I'm the Mama

Concerns about Elliot’s Health

Hi Dr. C-

Despite the supposition that Elliot suffers from gastric reflux, I remain concerned that he has some serious issue that is remaining undiagnosed and untreated. Unfortunately, I’m unable to attend this important visit with you today, but these concerns have me nervous and scared. I would like you to please consider and explain the causes to the following symptoms:

-Pulling on his right ear
-Significant, fairly constant mouthing of his hands (fingers deep in his mouth) or other random objects. Elliot mouthed objects until age 2.5 or so. This let up until his third birthday (around which time his baby brother was born). His OT wonders if there is an ENT health issue/pain that is causing him to do this.
-Chronic mucus from the nose. Almost constant.
-Wet, chesty breathing (almost constant); affects his speech and ability to eat comfortably. Elliot has a very hard time breathing at night, even with a humidifier.
-Occasional vomiting of all food in the stomach after a mucusy cough (we know the sound that preceeds this mucusy vomit).

I want to know:
1. Is it possible that the swallow study (that he responded poorly to) missed something? Could my son be slowly aspirating due to food being improperly channeled to the lungs?
2. Should we see a GI specialist?
3. What are the possible medical causes for the increased constant mouthing?
4. Are there other doctors who we should see to learn more about what is making our son so uncomfortable?

Thank you in advance for answering each of these questions. Any of this that you can write down, I would appreciate. I thrive on information and my husband is rather succinct.

Thank you,
Emmy

-----

Any ideas from my blog readers? Please pass them on. The visit is on Thursday.

Dream Vacation, Part One

The notarized paperwork for our Homeaway vacation is in the mail...

So Special

Me: Hey, Ana. I heard you had some questions about Child A (a child with special needs).

Ana: Yes. Is he--um--special? **

Me: Yes, he was born with some challenges. All of us have things we need to work on, some are more obvious than others. Like Ell works on using his left hand. What are some things that are challenging for you (I'm thinking, pottying).

Ana: Oh yeah. That's easy. Like Jumprope.

Me: Yeah, like jumprope.

___
**Re: terminology...I've grown into using "child with special needs" (vs. "typically developing"). We don't use the term "special," and I generally shirk to its usage, particularly because it's used in a casual/drerogatory way as in "her haircut sure is 'special')...Ana's just putting her on words on what she's observed. That these kids tend to stand out a little bit because they are different. Or maybe she's noticed the extra dose of love El seems to have, and that, is indeed, special.

If only

Wanted:

-Stimulating K-8 school that embraces developmentally-appropriate, hands-on curriculum driven by ideas and contemporary thinking rather than NCLB

-Differentiated instruction for children at all ability levels, mainstreamed environment

-Colorful collection of parents of diverse economies with simple New Orleans values

-Strong administrative practices where teachers are led by a common philosophy, and have a support system for guidance

-Free, and open to children in any parish

Who knew this would be such a tall order?

Having just received Ana's WPPSI test results, and read many pages of positive superlatives, percentiles, words like "subtests", "coding", and "standard score" regarding4 our creative and talented child, the phrase that nags, that is the cause of stress is this one:

Behaviorally, this youngster came through as being an endearing, independent, mature, confident, and highly motivated 5-year-old. Ana’s overall testing profile indicates that she should excel within an enriched academic program.

Where the hell is this enriched academic program? Does this make it MORE impossible to live the dream that my daughter and son will attend the same school? I do not know, but apparently, I won't rest until I find out. This is exhausting.

Dream Vacation!

The whole contest through Homeaway has been unbelievable. It all started with our Free! condo during Gustav, courtesy of Georges Georgiou and Vacation Rental By Owner. As if that wasn't enough, my blog post about his kindness led a Homeaway staffer to invite me to join this contest...which led to friends and family rallying behind us to win. It all goes back to Georges. I'm amazed by how kindesses and love can multiply.

So now, we're in the planning stages of this big trip. Because we had so much support, we hope to bring any friends and family with us, just as we did when we married. Of course, $5000 isn't much, but what I'm trying to say is that you're all invited to join us. We'll squeeze in who we can (which right now is Tita, Tito, Tia Ella, and Gigi), and help the rest of our friends find accommodations if the house is too small. We're pretty good at setting boundaries, and by no means are we expecting to descend upon the small town like a tour bus. We expect folks to do their own thing, and if we occasionally intersect, then so be it. If you're a good friend, who's curious enough to ask, please do. Being surrounded by people we love is all quite selfish, anyway.

And so as we look at our choices, this one is topping the list:

This is one of four like it, on Half Moon Key. It's at the end of the strip of dive shops and our favorite restaurants on West End Beach. The truly breathtaking beach is West Bay Beach, but it's lined with resorts and a chain hotel or two. West End=MidCity

West Bay=St. Charles Ave.

We are thinking of leaving the week after Jazz Fest, before the rainy season (and hurricane season), while it's warm enough to dive. We plan on a two week trip, one week on the island with our pals, and a week on the mainland with just family, introducing our children to their immense and colorful family that's only met them through pictures!

Ana's already planning the itinerary with snorkeling, swimming with dolphins, and horse-back riding on the agenda.

If you're bored, peruse the Homeaway site (search Roatan). We're taking suggestions on breath-taking accommodations!

Voracious Reader

I loved the irony of coming home from a date finding Ana asleep with this book.

Why my son might be the incarnation of Buddha, Part 3

A case in pictures-

Exhibit 32-C, smiley happy demeanor

Exhibit 52-

Long ears to hear the sounds of the universe

Exhibit 72-Hands together to feel the pulse of one's soul

Exhibit 79- YOu can't forget the Buddha Belly!

Oliver is 4 months old!

Oh my!

It's been 4 amazing months of getting to know Oliver, and it's been such fun.

He is round, soft, solid, hairy, still slightly floppy (esp. those ears), giggly, babbly fun!

The epitome of Happy Bouncing Boy is he...generally in a great mood, full of smiles. Lately his exuberence for us overtakes him, and he grunts, smiles, and buries his head in our chests. Such a love!

All of Ana's loving gestures, and sweet talk has paid off too. He lights up when she enters the room. He's still trying to figure out Brother El, who sweetly coos then pokes him in the eye.

Peekaboo!

Fine motor skills are coming, as you swipe; gross motor skills look great (you're so solid!), as you work to sit up and get in airplane pose while on your tummy.

A whole new world of eating was introduced on Sunday when you had your first taste of rice cereal. Three infant spoonfuls, and you were crashing hard. I guess it's the equivalent of a porterhouse steak to one so small.

But I ordered booby.

Stats from your doctor visit:

19 lbs. 3 oz (95%ile)

27" long (95%ile)

I can't wait to see what the next month brings!

Lessons learned at Ladies' Night

1. Men with ferrets are to be avoided at all costs.
2. I can't believe we missed a performance of Mini-Kiss at Moan-et Voila! (a new sex club in town). Mini-Kiss is a Kiss cover-band comprised of "little people:" **



3. Do not do the fitness test on Wii after lots of melted cheese and wine.
4. Mom's night out is good for helping Dad gain perspective.
5. Frozen burritos can lead to love, if you play your cards right.
6. Time with friends is time well-spent.
**I found this "Mini-Kiss" clip on You-tube. We did not attend Club Moan-et. Although the stories are very entertaining...

Don't forget to Breathe

The blogging contest was an amazing experience for our family. I had no idea that 677 people would read that post, and vote for us. The power of Facebook (and lots of friends pressuring their friends) was actually awe-inspiring. And at the end, I know it's a small thing...but we really felt, and appreciate the love.

All that warm and fuzzy gooeyness was replaced by sheer exhaustion yesterday, when I realized that 1pm Saturday was really the only time I'd see Kevin all weekend until Monday night. What exactly is the point of a weekend, I ask? I would much rather work 7 days a week. I know this isn't Kevin's fault, and don't blame him, but it exhausts me. The prospect of leaving the house? Yeah, right...Absolutely insane while Elliot runs with abandon as far as he can AWAY (this is just a phase, right? PLease tell me it is). I was just bitter, and angry. And when I'm angry, I don't even whine. I generally just seethe while accomplishing everyday tasks...

Seething Emmy washing lots of sharp knives, for example
or
Seething Emmy tying shoes
or
Seething Emmy trying to get this god-foresaken &*#@ grass-stain out of the *()$# Jeans!!!

You get the picture.

And until I called Holly, without remotely hinting at my sorry-for-myself state, who invited me over for yummy tofu chili, in a place where it's OK for El to run with abandon. And Paul hung out with the littles (El and Kate) while Holly and I went to the La Divina Gelateria art show, and sat and talked with other adults, and actually felt sane.

I forget to ask for help, or maybe that's still something I'm trying to work on. I know I have lots of great friends, I just need to get better at reaching out when I need support. Thanks for a lovely evening Holly (and Paul!), on so many levels. You may have shaved years of therapy off of my children.

If I could get off of Facebook, maybe

I'd blog about my son, Oliver:

• Saying "doo" and "goo." Those pursed lips are really darlin.
• Rolling over from tummy to back. Surprise smile to see the world turn upside-down suddenly.
• Getting a tooth? Tiny blister on the lower right.
• Sitting up with fists boring into the floor.
• getting cuter every day, if that's possible. What a doll.

In the name of white sand

Hi friends,

I've entered a blogging contest that I'm hoping you can help me to win. Homeaway is sponsoring a contest that will send us to paradise where we can stay in a vacation home if we get the most votes.

Here's how you can help:

1. Please vote for our family to win a trip to Honduras today! This link will send you to the summary of our post. Once you click the button to view the full entry and vote, you'll be prompted to enter your email address. A follow-up email will be sent to you (to avoid spamming in the contest) that you must respond to.

2. And please send your friends and family too!

Thanks

Remember Helen Hill

Helen died 2 years and 2 days ago.

Keep her legacy alive:

• mentor a child
• invest in your community through active participation
• support public schools
• make a healthy meal (vegan pls)
• do something creative
• wear something happy
• forgive a grievance
• love out loud

Put your arm around your baby and thank God you're alive.

Beneath that tough exoskeleton, I'm all SCORPIO

courtesy of Wikipedia

Astrologers assign personality traits to the signs. Although astrologers differ in some of their interpretations for the signs, the following traits are more prevalent in association with Scorpio. Note that no scientific research thus far has been able to prove such correlation.

(How many of these traits do you think apply?)

Intense
Powerful, tough
Determined. tenacious and persevering
Emotional, sensitive
Appearing cool and calm, but seething underneath (I LOVE this one!)
Reserved, withdrawn
Secretive
Deep, profound
Revengeful (if hurt), unforgiving
Passionate
Loyal, devotional
Ambitious
Extreme
Willful / fanatical
Mysterious / magnetically attractive / exciting
Deeply resentful, brooding, potentially destructive

Scorpio is the Zodiac sign that indicates the deepest interest in sexual matters, and for most Scorpios, sex is an expression of love.

hmmm....we'll have to talk about it on Po-Ke-No night (I got the pokeno cards!)!

To Give and Recieve Love

I recently shared with a good friend of mine that I am slowly realizing the difficulty I have with enjoying the love I receive from others. This has heightened my awareness of my reactions and responses to love in all its forms around a season when love comes in a variety of forms from pastry bags or jewelry boxes or sweetly delivered cards or thoughtful comments.

When I think of my most recent history with love, my experience with Elliot and his diagnosis were a real turning point. Up until that point, I participated outwardly in my relationships with others but rarely did I open myself up in a vulnerable way that was true and honest, and relied on the other person keeping my heart as safe as I would. Is this typical Scorpio?

Elliot's diagnosis, and our sudden dependence on a support network of paraprofessionals and doctors, family, friends and each other opened my heart in a way that I didn't know was possible. I learned that being vulnerable and embracing my challenges and trusting others with my fears helped me to feel stronger. That I was able to borrow from their hope, and their faith in me to bolster myself for the next part of the path. Through them (you), and through the love and spirit of our son, I experienced a beauty and honesty that brought me great joy, and deep love. Kevin and I can hardly speak of the love that we've experienced these last few years without tears.

In general, motherhood has made me acutely aware of one thing: Someone loves me as much as I love these children. My mother feels this way about me. (It completely boggles my mind).

Somewhat naively, I've thought myself to be rather open to the love out there. However, a few weeks ago, a gift sent me on the next part of my journey.

When I unwrapped the beautiful portrait of Oliver, drawn from a photograph that Holly herself had taken, I was dumbfounded. There among the styrofoam peanuts, the most wonderful gift I had ever received. I was struck by the beauty and accuracy of the drawing, of the time it took to create such a gift, by the very idea that a friend would think of our family in this way. And as I shared this with everyone I saw that day, I continued to feel the surprise that I was that special to someone I feel is that special.

The gift made me reflective of a reoccuring internal struggle I feel. In my work, with the most appreciative and civically active parents on the planet, I find myself often on the receiving end of complements, mystery surprises on my desk, and even what could be classified as love notes. Almost all of these are kindnesses related to the school I direct. I think up until that gift, I've never really believed any of it. Partly because I know that of any place on earth, AH is the result of so many collaborators: parents, teachers, and yes, me. Founding parents who've gone, wait list parents who never were, substitute teachers with graph pads sketching a new layout for the place, you name it! I feel that I am a part of that. But it's certainly not because of me, and it's certainly not mine. (And PU-Leeze, do not argue this point with me via comments).

I'd simply let these kind words roll over me, smiling, thinking Just who do they think I am? In general, I'm pretty hard on myself...When I mentioned my discomfort to my Kevin, he said to me, those people are all pretty smart honey. I don't think you have them fooled. I think they see you for who you are. And yes, they love you.

Well, I couldn't debate that "those people" are all really smart. Why did this bother me, these gestures, this love? And after reading a recent comment about "what a good job your (I'm) doing"...not related to work, I think) and feeling my inner twitch, I realized that it's me, and my issue. I'm continuing to get in my own way. I don't know why that is. (I might need a professional with a couch). But I don't really care to dig. I just know that I don't want that voice anymore that tells me I'm not worthy of it.

I'm beginning the next part of my journey to a happier and healthier life by allowing myself to accept love, and let it enter my heart, and become a more open person. Each of you has so much to teach me... I believe that we are all teachers, and thankfully, I'm in a place and a time in my life when all the teachers are positive and inspiring and thoughtful. I know deep and abiding love and happiness are already around me, which, in and of itself is pretty astounding. I just need to open my eyes and heart, and put the cynic to sleep. I'm really ready to live my best life.

Happy Birthday, Holly

Although I can't figure out how old you are with hex (?!?@#?), happy birthday Holly.


It's inspiring to know you.

Helloooooo!

Good for the mind, body, and spirit:

A hellooooo to every passer-by when riding Molly.

Medusa vs. Orajel

Mama, which one is worse, your tooth cracked or Medusa?

Pick one.

Hmmm. It's a toss up.

And for the record, I don't think it's an old wives' tale that you lose a tooth with each child (2 out of 3).

Send us to Honduras!

Six years ago, when Kevin and I married at sunset on a beach in Roatan, we were surrounded by family and friends. To “send us off,” they’d come with us, by taxi, then airplane, then seaplane, on a journey that connected the unlikeliest sorts of people in ways we couldn’t have anticipated.

I knew this was the case when we were standing in the New Orleans airport, and a college friend who’d traveled from Africa was chatting animatedly with Kevin’s sister-in-law, a country girl from Plaquemine, Louisiana, taking pictures together because they’d both worn black and white to travel.

The auspicious start pervaded the entire event, from the festive atmosphere on the airplane to the narrow strip of hotels and eateries that lined the Caribbean beach, as our loved ones made connections, dinner plans, and scuba dates on the dusty unpaved road.

On the day of the wedding, family flew in from the Honduran mainland and stood next to us, barefooted, voices trembling, as we began this incredible adventure together.

And since that day, so much has happened. We have parented three beautiful children, 5, 3, and 3 months. Our son Elliot was diagnosed with a congenital condition at age 4 months, when we returned from evacuating Hurricane Katrina. Kevin works nights, and shuttles him to speech, occupational, and physical therapies each day, now with our youngest child, Oliver in tow.

My work with a non-profit childcare center started by parents supports families rebuilding our great city. It’s rewarding work that consumes any energy I might have left from juggling three children under 5. That leaves little for my husband and me. With our opposite schedules, sometimes days go by when I feel like I haven’t seen him.

Having never met Elliot, all my family in Honduras knows of our son is that he was born with a disability. They’ve never been put under his spell and don’t yet know we’re the luckiest people alive to have him. I’d love the opportunity to share my beautiful family with them all.



Send us back. Vote today to send us here:

Damn ye, O King Cake!

Picture of one of Last Year's King Cake

Undoing all the good work of my new bike (that I'm inclined to dub Molly), is a McKenzie's King Cake. For all you non-natives not in on the secret, several Tastee Donut shops in Metairie carry the traditional sugar brioche king cake made from the McKenzie's bakery recipe, which for me, is the only king cake entitled to the name.

No icing covered, filled, or French varieties will cross this threshold! This is the only way to go (although a Plain Haydel's is a close second).

And it's Going, Going, GONE!

After nearly two weeks with children during Holiday Break...

Overheard from Mom friends at Audubon Park

• I've been sitting on this prescription for xanax, and am wondering if I should just...(interrupted by therapist) Fill it! Fill it!
• I have mountains of cookie dough left over from the holidays and I have to do something to get rid of it, or I'll just eat it.
• When I found out that Great Mom XX had a bad moment and lost it on her kid and spanked him? That was my best moment.
• Open Dialogue about the risks of cooking chicken in its own marinade (discuss amongst yourselves).
• (Loudly, in front of several small children) Damn! I just stepped in a big pile of dog shit.
• As potty-trained daughter poops behind tree: S! Come out, right now!
• Open Dialogue about challenges of tooth implants (discuss amongst yourselves)
• Go play now honey.
• When are we gonna start having Happy Hour?

Day Two of a New Year

If I were to spend the next year as I have the last two days, I would:

• wake up early to ride my new bike
• bake yummy breads
• drink sangria with friends while dancing to Elvis in a living room filled with children
• Oooh and Aaaah at the skies over Harahan
• listen to Ana's compositions and songs on Elliot's new guitar (Your heart is delicious as a blueberry. Oh yea. It's true. This one was a strange bedfellow to accompany my latest teen pulp craze, the Twilight series).
• kiss my love just because "it's time."
• smile through gritted teeth at my daughter's apparent accident
• explain the calendar for the fourth time
• talk with Oliver and enjoy every coo and twinkle and now, guffaw.
• take the ferry with old friends (xoxo Niki and Sage)
• watch street performers in the quarter
• clean up another mucusy throw-up from Elliot (ENT second opinion coming).
• stare at the swirling Mississippi with bits of a Langston Hughes poem rattling in my head
• eat crab rangoon in our pjs
• get Elliot from under the house (again)
• start new traditions (does two years running a tradition make?). New Years at Renee's house in Harahan is so much fun!

I could deal with some more of that (except for the obvious frustrations), but these are some of the things I'd like to do in the new year:

1. Write thoughtfully. My blog is, generally speaking, a collection of first drafts, and acts as a journal for me. I'm very comfortable composing in type, and rarely even rewrite before I hit "publish post." Often, as I write, my word use or sentence structure isn't exactly what I'd like, but I suppress those voices to just get it out on paper in my limited time. I don't expect that to change, but I'm going to try.

The second part of this goal is to write a book. I'm hesitant to put that here, but Kevin and I have been talking for the last year about what makes us happy, and what do we want from this life. We are both working on making a plan that will enable to spend our days the way we want to, even if we always do the work we do and live in this city. I have always loved telling children stories (orally) and love spinning yarns. There are several stories that I would like to share of my own life, of my mother's, of my husband's too. So I don't know what will come out of this focused attention on what I'd like to get out there. But I have purchased a small notebook for the purpose of writing down ideas. And I have approached one friend who is an artist about a possible collaboration (with a plan to approach two other artist-friends). I'm curious to see if something comes of this.

2. Get active, physically and civicly. Well, I'm hoping to carve out regular time for exercise. I just feel happier. And even though I quit my board position with a local merchant's group (it felt good to say NO, eo), I need to learn more about the rights of children with special needs and what I should expect of my child's educational experience. I need some schooling. I plan to attend several Families Helping Families seminars to learn more.

3. Make time with Kevin. I love my husband. I want to connect with him more.

4. Say thank you. In the last few years, I've become bad at sending thank you notes (and ironically, have had more to thank folks for than ever). Sometimes they get written and put in a pile, only to be discovered months later. Sometimes, I mentally kick myself for months every time I see the person. Sometimes, I think about it so much I'm pretty sure months later that I sent the note out. If you fall into this last category, please forgive me. But I'm starting fresh, and hope to become really efficient. (I need to stock up on some supplies). It's not because it's a burden to write these quick notes...and this should have come first (but I never edit)...I feel very blessed for each random act of love that comes our way, for the amazing place I work, for the thoughtfulness of friends, for the value of relationship...and more of my time should be spent reflecting on this richness and acknowledging it.

So there they are. Just a few. I'm wishing each of you a healthy, happy new year full of belly laughs!