Revised Eulogy

Galito,
I felt your presence today, and got through it. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to get the words out. But you were with me, and before I spoke, there was a tremendous peace. Thank you for that. I hope you heard what I said. I meant every word. It was hard to see you, so still and so cold, but your hair felt the same, thick and curly. I can still feel it in my hand. I miss you brother. I miss you.
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Galito

Our friend, uncle, cousin, nephew, father. Only son of my parents. My dear sweet brother. You were beloved.

You were unwell for so long. But although you felt overwhelmed by your disease, we can’t define you by your illness. You were more than that to us, for so many many happy years, don’t you know Galito?

As a son, you deeply loved your parents. One of my happiest memories of you, is seeing you return from fishing in Honduras with Dad, smiling from ear to ear, your catch held high. So proud. You posed for pictures, holding up your fish, standing next to Dad, with his arm wrapped around your shoulders, you looking up at him, him smiling down at you. I could see by your bright smile how much you enjoyed that time, just you and dad and the open sea. How happy you were to share that adventure with him.

You and Dad shared that hot temper, and it often got in your way. But that last night, you kissed him “Goodnight.” You wanted him to know how much you loved him. And you knew how much he loved you.

Mama was your little queen. You loved looking for ways to make her happy, even if it was just finding Colombo on TV, and calling her over. You towered over her, and rarely missed an opportunity to playfully hug her, and affectionately give her a kiss.

She loved when you were working and would come home happily saying, “Mom, I’m home!” You were so close to Mom, that as unfair as it is to be standing here, I don’t think you could have ever been able to let her go to Heaven before you. You couldn’t live without her. You had to go home first.

She loved you as only a mother can. Through Mama, you were understood. The two of you would have long talks when you were feeling down, and she wouldn’t rest until she’d eased your worries. Mama’s compassion for you was unyielding: plentiful and saintly. She was your best friend.

Through her and Dad, you knew unconditional love. God’s love was always there, even when you all struggled, because they would do everything they could to help you. Never were there two parents more devoted to a child than our parents for you, Galito. And they never gave up on you.

You loved being Mara’s daddy. And were happiest when you were working, and could provide for her. Every penny you would earn would go to her. You loved buying her toys and fun things that you could enjoy together.

You wanted to be the best father you could, and you did the best you could for her. And she loved you so much. A friend of yours recently shared with me how quickly you’d whip out your wallet to show her off. You were so proud. I am happy that you got to enjoy fatherhood, and your daughter’s joy and laughter, that you celebrated her successes and everyday fun.

As my brother, I always knew how much you loved me. You always included me, even when you were hanging out with your cool friends in high school. Even when I wanted to wear your leather jacket. You’d take me out with you on the weekend, and you’d drive the Gold LTD, and we’d go to the lake or French Quarter, and you were always proud to have me by your side, and were always looking out for me.

And when you were playing in your band, I’d stand in the front of the crowd at the VFW hall, and make sure everyone knew I was your sister. I was proud of you too. And my friends, especially the older ones, sometimes I wondered if they wanted to come over just to look at you. You were just so handsome.

I loved when you taught me riffs on the guitar, and staying up late watching MTV together, and all those years when we were so very close. Where did they go?

I remember the slobbery kisses you’d give—and I’d always complain that they were too wet, and try to dry off my cheek. What wouldn’t I do for one of those kisses right now?

I miss you so much. I thought I had lost you so many years ago, as you became ill and distant, and I became confused by who you were. But now that you are gone, I understand how painful it is to really lose you, and I can see you so very clearly. You are unobscured by your illness, and all of those happy sweet moments are with me. They have replaced everything else.

No—I can’t define your life by your illness. There were too many good memories, and too much of a life before you got sick, and too sweet of a boy beneath it all. Please forgive me, Galito, and the rest of us-- who thought you had some control over your choices and behaviors. We were deceived by your disease, and sometimes, it kept us from being able to love you the way we wanted to. But we always loved you. We never ever stopped.

While we are relieved that you have found some peace, it will take us much time to let go of the many joys we wanted to share with you. We weren’t ready to let you go, and were always hopeful that you would get well, and be the boy, and young man that we knew, and fulfill the dreams you had in your heart.

I know that your grandparents were in Heaven to receive you, and Tia Chacha and Blanca, and Tio Nando were there to wipe your tears and hold you and tell you that you were OK. I know that there, you are well. You are perfect, and you are whole.

And now it is your turn to watch over us, the way you always wanted to while you were here. I find comfort in that, and find myself talking to you with the ease of those many happy years we shared. I feel closer to you than I have in so long. Why do I feel like I have my brother back when I can’t hold you or hear you? I know it is because you are in my heart, where you will always be. You are here with us now, Galito.

If a man is measured by how much he is loved, then you lived a successful, bountiful life. You were loved, and those closest to you knew who you really were. You were that sweet boy, who gave slobbery kisses, and loved fishing, and wanted to be a rock star. And Oh How We Love You.