Story Words

When Ana struggles with sleep, sometimes I'll "put a dream in her head" by giving her a series of words, touching her forehead after each one, like purple walrus, smooth stone, jelly donut, and pirogue. Sometimes I tell her I'll meet her in the dream. It works about half of the time.

Tonight at story time, I asked her to tell me the story. She refused, but said she'd give me the words. I loved looking over at her large brown eyes in the dark, as she thought of the words, and touched her small fingers to my forehead:

a red bowl of cherries
a glitterfish, red and blue
a golden mermaid
Tora Lora and Maybelline walking in the woods
a pink princess
a handsome prince with a sword

Yes, I struggled with those theme-laden words at the end, but the power was in my hands to create a story with elements of feminine power and choice, social justice, and kindness, and it came together nicely.

I love my daughter's creative mind, and ideas. I'm ever-amazed by how she puts together ideas, and language, and wish I was disciplined enough to capture it all.

Other bits:

• I loved her identifying the "dot" in Richard Scarry's Best Word Book Ever as a speckle.
• I was excited that she chose a job not on the "When I grow up" page: archaeologist.
• Despite our pleas that she not hold those grizzly green caterpillars that sting, she's already discovered that they don't sting your hand if you pick them up, and was adamant to continue making pets of these loathsome creatures. Today, I learned from another parent that they hurt on softer skin in other areas, but not if you handle them with your palm. I respect her belief in her own scientific method.

I'm always learning from you, Ana, and I'm so grateful for each moment with you.

Signs of Spring

What comes to mind when spring comes to NOLA?


I know the usual answers, but for me, the night before last, it was those monstrous flying cockroaches.


I was sitting on the coach, locked into an episode of The Wire, my current tele-obsession. Kevin was sleeping peacefully with Ana and her hacking cough. Elliot had finally gone down after his own coughing fit. I was cuddled peacefully under a blanket with some ice water.


Fans of The Wire know that the details of the case and revelations of character make each moment relevant, so I was poised and attentive when it happened. A cockroach big enough to charter a flight on came careening toward me, and landed on the wall opposite me!


Out came the shrieks! Out came the expletives! I'm still reeling just thinking of how close he came to me, and how absolutely gynormous this thing was!


Without even hitting pause (now you know this is serious), I run into the kitchen for the 409, my favorite roach eliminator. Usually their down in two squirts. Quick. Painful, maybe?


And what do I see when I run into the kitchen screaming, "Uggggghhhhh, Jeezuz!"???? Two enormous fuckers on the wall! No, I mean it. They were literally FUCKING on the wall. Trying to make more god-damn roach babies beneath my stretched textiles, dammit! Does it get much worse????


I hope it was more than just fleeting roach love, cause those two creepers died doin' it.


So that was the end of TV night for me, and even under the covers in the comfort of my own bedroom, I thought I saw the silhoutte of miniature war planes circling overhead. How I love New Orleans, and how I hate those g-d roaches.


When I got over the shame of these creatures dwelling with us, I actually enjoyed trading creature stories quite a bit with Marci over gelato, and she shared this story with me. I also found this one, which was clearly not filmed in New Orleans. We have doodlebugs bigger than that "flying killer roach." I can appreciate her feelings on it, though.

And just for posterity in a post so-titled, I should say that

• I'm enjoying my front garden, and our continous work to make the backyard functional;
• I can't wait for some Rosewater Tea at Jazzfest to accompany my softshell crab. Yes, I know I can get those mostly year round anywhere, but something about having one in the gospel tent with a sweaty baby on my lap can't be replicated. Anywhere.
• Ana got to see doves "fighting" quite amorously today. Is everybody humping? Are you?Feel free to comment.
• Georgia's tree is home to a nest of mockingbird's with their characteristic aggressive guarding (understandable Mama bird) from curious eyes.
• The neighbor has a new puppy.
• Our friends are hosting their annual Jazzfest Crawfish Boil next week. It's a blast, and the food is DELICIOUS. But Ana's most excited about seeing another chrysallis...
• Elliot got a new trike yesterday (full story soon).
• A caterpillar stung the hell out of my husband.

I'm feeling quite alive. Thank you God for the gift of another day, roaches and all.

Anticipation

4 days until my heroes come visit my school.
6 days until we find out where Ana will go to school in the fall.
18 days until we know the sex of the baby.
20 days to sand and sun.

And Jazz Fest somewhere in between.

Surrogate Pets

Our neighbors have no kids.

We have no dogs.

Betwixt the two, we're a nuclear family.

I'm grateful she has the warm fuzzy cuteness that we get to enjoy. Then walk away from.

I'm sure she feels the same way about our brood.

Introducing Cutter:

The kids love him, and seek him out for hugs and kisses everyday.

Thanks for sharing, Carol!

Sick again

It's a good thing I'm slightly over my first trimester anti-illness OCD, cause Ana's sick again.

Fever last night and this morning.

Poor baby. Sometimes I feel like my kids stay sick.

Reading Labels

So I met with two of Elliot's evaluator's today. It wasn't the official IEP, but I was there for other reasons, and wanted to check in on the process.

The opinions of a team of folks that met with my son for a brief 2 hour period have no bearing on my own assessment of him, his potential, or his life path. However, it does impact, potentially, how he would participate in the school system.

Would Elliot be designated as developmentally delayed? In the currently flawed system, this would mean he would be in a special class, and would participate, on a limited basis with his typical peers. This is the designation I was avoiding at all costs, and only knew that it would mean I would have to seek out other options for Elliot's education. I have seen the value of inclusion, and how my son thrives to do as his peers. In a classroom with the full spectrum of special needs, there's no telling how, or if, he might be challenged.

Today, I learned that his designation is OHI, Other Health Impaired. YAY! That means he'll receive Speech (for articulation help, not language development), OT and PT. Super! Most importantly, if we choose to enroll him in a Jeff Parish school, he would participate in a class with typical peers, and be pulled out for services. Ideally, this is what the model should be. A good teacher individualizes instruction, and works with support staff to incorporate modifications into her daily practice. The word is that this is what the parish is working towards. But things move slowly in Education. I'll give it five years at least.

Whatever label is slapped on my son, and his file, matters little to me. As long as he gets what he needs, and is in the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE), then I'll happily sign any IEP that comes my way.

I should say, though, that I'd already contacted attorneys at Families Helping Families in the event that I needed an advocate well-informed of the law. FHF is a great resource for families of children with special needs, and as one of those parents, well. You gotta be ready to fight for what you know is best for your child.

I don't know what we'll do in August when Elliot ages out of Early Steps. We may have him get therapies twice a week through Jeff Parish (this would be in a special class with special needs 3 yo since JP doesn't have a 3 yo classroom). Or we could pick up therapies at Children's Hospital, free through CHAP. In any case, he'll be at Abeona House next year. The inclusive classroom, and the loving teachers I trust so deeply are so pivotal in his development. I don't know where the Bright School fits in, and if we'll be able to manage driving to the therapies (instead of them coming to us) + Ana at a new school + baby. Let the schleping begin.

I'm fearful of losing his web of support. His therapists have done as much for Kevin and I as parents, as they have for Elliot. It's scary thinking of his future, and of how things change in larger groups and systems. But I do believe there's a lot of love out there. Some of the most amazing people I've ever met are Special Ed. teachers and therapists. I'm so grateful not to have to do this on my own.

slight of hand

Tonight, Elliot enjoyed his "Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy" book (textures) with his left hand!

Without prompting!

Ana felt a little jealous of the attention and teary eyes. Once I reminded her that things that come easy for us, Elliot works hard to do. That each of us is a part of that because we work with Elliot, and we love him. Then she was all snuggles, and smiles.

I'm so proud of Elliot. He does work incredibly hard, and with the best disposition always.

And I'm so proud of Ana. I know being his sibling comes with its challenges, but she has so much love. So much love.

Day Off

No doubt I've been in need of a day off. Between feeling highly emotional and just depleted, I've been waiting for a moment to come up for air. With some work stuff stabilizing, I knew the time was coming.

And when my friend Rene called to let me know she was back from Guinea, and her hair had gone grey, and she had no car, I knew it was time to seize some much needed grown-up time with a good friend.

So Friday, could the weather have been more perfect? It's so good for the psyche to want to just sit outdoors. We didn't get much of that fresh air under the hot lamps of the salon, but I certainly enjoyed the girl talk and celebrity gossip that ensued as we flipped through the magazines.

I so wish I'd taken a BEFORE pic, because afterwards, Rene looked totally foxy. It was like seeing a tv makeover. Rebecca (my hairdresser whom I LOVE) insisted on blowing out my hair, so I didn't feel neglected. But truth be told, I didn't care to have anything done. I just wanted some time with my friend, with no demands on my time.

Afterwards, we went for salads at Zea's with a little shopping here and there (I'm terrible shopping company with my maternity wear and oversized feet, but I'm good moral support). Then it was off to the Bead Shop to make use of some old beads I've been holding on to for over a year. I made a great new necklace. Well. Georgia showed be what to do, I put some of the beads on the string, ok.

The time with Rene was such a gift for me. I miss my friends, and I miss myself. I've felt so weighed down lately, and I know that the sadness is a part of me, and it's ok. But I feel like I've been waiting for myself to show up.

All worthy of their own posts...

but I'll never catch up at this rate:

• Elliot was evaluated by the school system. We have yet to see the results. Most of the experience was positive, with the exception of one evaluator who seemed to have no sense of typical 2 behavior (ie after 20 minutes of jumping through figurative hoops, Elliot got up from his chair and declared "I jump!" I laughed. She looked at me over the tops of her glasses. He sat for 20 minutes, lady. It's time to move on. He's two.)
• Elliot is wearing his glasses like a champ. We haven't gotten the strap for the back so we're not brave enough for him to bring them to school yet.
• It turns out that Ana's district preschool (Jeff El) was more developmentally appropriate and exciting than the 4 private preschools I visited in the same week. We applied today for entry. No reservations about the choice until I found myself seated with potentially the two worst parents in Jeff Parish. Thank God for the O! magazine I could hide behind as they compared stories of beating their kids' asses. Couldn't help but wonder the baggage their poor kids would bring to school, and the other brands of learning my Ana might pick up. As I looked over my shoulder, the other parents seemed more normal, but still somewhat mourning the loss of a built-in sense of community (for me) with my child's learning experience...We'll see what happens.
• Ana has her first pet. OK. The hermit crab that didn't last two days after the beach trip doesn't count. It's a beta that she lovingly named Lemon. Stare into the bowl, little grasshopper, and ignore the new yellow lab the neighbors keep bringing by to lick your face.
• Our car got broken into. Again. Totally f-ing sucks.
• Got a mystery package on my stoop from an old friend who I miss dearly. It made a rough week bearable.
• had sushi with the kids tonight. LOVED having hot green tea with Ana, and watching she and El navigate chopsticks. Memorable night.
• I'm loving my garden in the front yard. The backyard is a nightmare. Good news: we have a wild sunflower growing.
• Kevin is almost finished the bathroom! Can't wait to have a proper bath!
• We've booked our condo for a week's beach vacation in early May. I count down every day. I don't know if I've ever needed the sand and surf more. Hallelujah!
• Ana's regressing with the pottying. I don't know why? Wondering if the boys at school are stressing her out.

15 week update

• I've lost 10 pounds since being pregnant...typical for me. Thank God. If I ever set my mind to lose 10, I don't think I could.
• Blood work came back fine, except for a notable (but not problematic?) low level of blood platelets (aid in clotting). My previous 2 preg. lab results (Ana and El) were low, but not flagged. Doc said no worries. Ha.
• Heard baby's heart beat, right in front of my belly button. I always hold my breath until I hear it.
• Woke up puking today. When will it end?
• Spent my miniscule maternity clothes fund on flowers for the garden. I'll make my clothes stretch.