Off center

It doesn't take much to knock me off balance these days. I don't know if it's hormones, daily challenges, or just my own changes happening to me...but lately, minor occurances have the makings of an emotional moment:

-getting dressed. What the hell to wear?

-well-intentioned Mother of Four scoffing at my avoidance of soft cheese and beer while pregnant. Spoken like a women whose only had typical pregnancies.

-constant nausea. Can't even enjoy my favorite pastime anymore! I lost 5 lbs. this last month. But this is typical first trimester for me.

-Random work mishaps, like a new employee failing to show up for work.

-the absence of fresh corn and white onion in the fridge for tortilla soup. It came out fine with frozen corn and green onions.

Today, I was really trying to dig myself out of this sad place, and just tried to take my lead from the kids, who are so good at modeling unbridled joy, open-ness, and without expectation, relish the surprises of the day. Something I'm working hard to do. So after a morning of cooking, we headed to the front garden. Inspired by my green-thumb friend who posts pics of her haven nearly daily, I knew we had some work to do in the long-neglected garden rife with sycamore leaves, and random weeds. I did find it quite therapeutic to work in the soil, however short-lived with El heading down the sidewalk at 10 minute intervals. I felt like myself for a minute, out in the sunshine, uncovering doodle bugs.

Then El opted for car play. One of his favorites...we open the car and he pretends to drive (sans keys). When I opened the car door, there it all was. The evidence of another random car pilfering. Someone had looted our car. Papers. Pennies. Tampons. Everywhere. Every hidden compartment door hanging open. WTF.

And for what? I don't think there was anything of value in the car. If there was, it went without our noticing. The police came, quickly. The crime scene guy came, quickly. Ana learned about fingerprints and was fascinated...more fascinated than scared of random people invading our space, yet again.

I'm working to get back but I really think the only way through this funk is THROUGH.
I'm off to get some retail therapy. Maybe that will temper at least one daily meltdown.