Visit to perinatologist

Today was our first visit to the perinatologist. Our ob/gyn recommended that we consult with one after discussing our fears regarding pregnancy and potential illness.

The timing couldn't have been better, as yesterday, I was dealing with a case of chicken pox at the center, and despite having had the illness at age 2, was on self-imposed quarentine at home. All my fears of not keeping the baby safe compounded into a massive head and body ache by the end of the day.

I opted to walk to pick up Ana and El, which was definitely the right move. The weather yesterday was extraordinarily beautiful. And spending some time with Ana and Elliot at the stables, where they were both "kissed" by enormous stallions, providing me some healing laughter. As we ambled home, we found our good friend, Sweetpea The Goat with owner Amy out there on the batture. It was one of those kinds of afternoons, and I was grateful for it.

But last night the anxiety found me, and I began to worry about returning to work, with the prevalence of childhood illness that exists wherever small fries can be found. I felt scared of this appointment this morning. Of what we might learn.

That anxiety followed us into Tuoro this morning. But it didn't last long. Although I was armed with a fistful of tissues, I didn't need to use them. Dr. M was well-informed, warm, and easy to talk to. We were able to discuss Elliot's pregnancy with him, as well as our subsequent fears, and potential threats to another healthy pregnancy.

He assured us that:
-the likelihood of the CMV being reactivated in my system is incredibly slim; equally slim are the chances that I would pass this to the baby.
-there is nothing in my history to indicate that there is a greater likelihood that I am at risk to pass CMV or anything else to the baby.
-there is nothing that makes this pregnancy high-risk. I'll be back to see him in May for our 2 month ultrasound...

Because of my work with young children, and my fear of another common illness that my ob sees as a threat (Parvo), Dr. M suggested that I get an antibody panel through my ob. This would show me which illnesses present a greater threat (no presence of their antibodies in my system). I think that we may follow this recommendation, for my own mental health, and so that I can stop snalyzing why Elliot's cheeks are so red (a common symptom of Parvo, aka "slap cheek").

Besides religious hand-washing and disinfecting, I hope not to become OCD during this long pregnancy. Dr. M's parting words, "Just take a step back, and try to enjoy being pregnant." They rang in my ears as we drove home and the tears came. Two days of stress coming out, as I told Kevin that all I want is to keep this baby safe. More than anything in the world. And I'm scared.