On Monday, we leave for a family trip to Memphis and Chicago via train. For months, I've been secretly excited, imagining walking the full length of the train holding Elliot's hand as he eagerly explores the inside of the choo choo. As the trip has neared, I've become so overwhelmed with all that's required to actually leave town. Just preparing to go on vacation is wearing me out completely. Between staffing and interviews, payroll, paying taxes, and readying a grant due the day we leave, I am completely pooped. And that is without having packed!
How do I allow myself to let go of all of these stresses, to really enjoy my family and the joy of travel? This is a constant struggle for me...not just a vacation question. It's about lifestyle. Is it possible to find a balance, or is certain work by its very nature consume one's time and energy, leaving little room for all else? What do I want to teach my children about the nature of work and family? I'm sure this question plagues so many women with children who work. And is it even necessary? Having learned recently of the study showing that working mothers today spend as much time with their children as stay at home mom's in the 70s, is it just the nature of modern parenting to assume that our efforts are never enough?
I feel like I consistently choose time with my children, as evidenced by our dirty house, and the pile of dishes. If the kids want "outside" when I get home, that's the choice I make, and usually don't sweat the housework. However, I do wonder about the quality of my time with the kids...The thought of Kevin looking for other work that would have him home with us nights and weekends is SO tempting. I honestly can't imagine how this would redefine our family. Having consistently cared for both children most nights and weekends for the last year, I've felt like a single mom in many ways. This is not to say that Kevin's role and support are not critical. However, coming home to prepare dinner, ready children for bed, and prepare for the next day has been a nightly chore that I haven't enjoyed. I can see how single mom's do it, but the quality of the interaction with my children has certainly suffered. I view my nightly tasks as just that: tasks. With Elliot being the poor sleeper that he is, the bedtime ritual consistently wears me out. Kevin's weighing out his options with work right now, and it's exciting. and scary. but we'll be so happy to have him home.
Do I sound like I need a vacation? I can't wait. All this preparation will certainly be worth it!
Did I mention that instead of a nap today at school, Ana lay on her mat chanting quietly, Chicago! Chicago!Chicago! Sometimes when she says it, it comes out Dichago. I need to take a page out of her book, and let the spirit take over.
How do I allow myself to let go of all of these stresses, to really enjoy my family and the joy of travel? This is a constant struggle for me...not just a vacation question. It's about lifestyle. Is it possible to find a balance, or is certain work by its very nature consume one's time and energy, leaving little room for all else? What do I want to teach my children about the nature of work and family? I'm sure this question plagues so many women with children who work. And is it even necessary? Having learned recently of the study showing that working mothers today spend as much time with their children as stay at home mom's in the 70s, is it just the nature of modern parenting to assume that our efforts are never enough?
I feel like I consistently choose time with my children, as evidenced by our dirty house, and the pile of dishes. If the kids want "outside" when I get home, that's the choice I make, and usually don't sweat the housework. However, I do wonder about the quality of my time with the kids...The thought of Kevin looking for other work that would have him home with us nights and weekends is SO tempting. I honestly can't imagine how this would redefine our family. Having consistently cared for both children most nights and weekends for the last year, I've felt like a single mom in many ways. This is not to say that Kevin's role and support are not critical. However, coming home to prepare dinner, ready children for bed, and prepare for the next day has been a nightly chore that I haven't enjoyed. I can see how single mom's do it, but the quality of the interaction with my children has certainly suffered. I view my nightly tasks as just that: tasks. With Elliot being the poor sleeper that he is, the bedtime ritual consistently wears me out. Kevin's weighing out his options with work right now, and it's exciting. and scary. but we'll be so happy to have him home.
Do I sound like I need a vacation? I can't wait. All this preparation will certainly be worth it!
Did I mention that instead of a nap today at school, Ana lay on her mat chanting quietly, Chicago! Chicago!Chicago! Sometimes when she says it, it comes out Dichago. I need to take a page out of her book, and let the spirit take over.
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