Report Card Time!

It's been almost a month since the kids started school, and here's the lowdown.

Public School
Administrative Clarity: D+

• Student Eval didn't take place when it was scheduled.
• Twice over the summer Elliot's enrollment was questioned (Did you get a letter? Are you sure he's coming here?)
• When the student eval *did* happen, his enrollment was questioned, and his IEP was not there. The (+) comes into play because the group rolled with the eval (assuming the error was their's, not ours).
• Principal was inaccessible for at least one week.
• Orientation was poorly organized and showed a lack of understanding of the needs of young children: It was called "Parent Orientation." Children were there. We asked if we should go bring our child. We were told to do so. While Kevin went to collect Elliot, I sat through a meeting about first day logistics where the children sat or drove their parents crazy. I did not particularly enjoy getting a snapshot into this wide range of parenting styles. By the time Elliot arrived, orientation was over. Children had not been introduced to their teachers or classrooms. Nary a crayon on a table to occupy them. Did not look good.

Sense of Community for families: D/F

• I got a good taste of a thriving happy community at Open House for the K-6 program. Sadly, there have been no opportunities for pre-K parents to meet each other, and connect, especially now that friendships and relationships have been formed.
• Unintentional relationships are growing through drop off and pick up, but honestly, that's mostly a function of Elliot, who runs to hug each child and say "Good Morning," to silent clusters of parents.
• It's an amazing school community there, but I don't think they realize how to engage, and connect parents...it might be a little threatening. There's definitely a guarded involvement (through fundraisers for example), but nothing really authentic.
• There's kind of that "You need us, we don't need you" feeling...instead of being treated like a customer...and while some folks don't have a choice of what school will educate their child, it's everyone's choice to bring their child there each day. We should all be treated in such a manner.

Curriculum: A+

• I've got to hand it to his teachers--the curriculum is developmentally appropriate, exciting, and provoking. Hands-on learning is evident from the nature of his homework assignments: look for examples of your favorite color in magazines and cut them out. Determine (after reading Goldilocks) if each bed in your home is Small, Medium, or Large, and if it's Soft, Hard, or Just Right. No worksheets, but a few days ago, Elliot wrote his first "A."
• Parents receive a weekly newsletter with details about what's being studied, requests for connections with the home, like family pictures, a list of the week's homework (which I REALLY appreciate having in advance), questions to ask your child to make connections, and explanations of how do develop independence (have your child take his folder in and out of his bag. Have your child place his bag in the same place in your home each day).
• I am SO very relieved that the poorly planned orientation didn't reflect how well the teachers understand what kids need and respond to.
• I really want to deduct points for a crappy yard with no climbing equipment and no animals. I feel like the teachers do the most they can with what they have...

Least Restrictive Environment: A+

• I am confident that the objectives of Elliot's IEP are being met.
• He has a special ed aide with him in the typical classroom, helping him as needed. He is not "pulled out" except for a couple of therapies weekly. He's mostly with his peers, and it's evident through his development of friends, that HE is experiencing a sense of community, and feels very happy.

Teachers: B

• I believe his teachers are exceptional. I wish there was more involvement/volunteerism allowed: parents are relegated to entry points ONLY. I don't know if this is a school policy, or reflective of the teachers' comfort level.
• I am communicated with daily about his day through a notebook. His special ed teacher and I write longer notes to each other back and forth. His teacher has given me her cell phone number.
• His teachers are cheerful, and appear to love what they do. They all seem likeable as well.

Overall, my goal for moving Elliot to this program was for him to understand how to apply the lessons of our intimate AH to a larger setting with greater expectations for behavior, and more teacher-directed experiences. I wanted him to receive his services within one environment (as opposed to shuttling him around town all week). We want Elliot to be in an inclusive kindergarten, if he seems ready, and this larger pre-K seemed like the next natural step. I feel good about having him at Haxel Park. He's happy, enjoying learning, creating friendships, and he is well-cared for and loved. This move has been a definite step out of my comfort zone, but I understand better why parents of special needs children who are able to afford small private programs opt for the public school. There is a strong awareness of what the child's needs are, how they can be met, and the understanding that these are part of Elliot's fundamental rights to receive them. I don't know where we'll be next year, but I feel good about where we are today. And Elliot does too!

Private School

Administrative Clarity: C

• Having worked hard to learn the Art of the Parent Guide, I have to say, I was less than impressed at how confusing this first introduction to Ana's new kinder was: the information was alphabetized!? Is there first thing you want to learn about your child's school "Aftercare?" Random charts with no headers? In general, I became more confused as I read. Less than impressive.
• There are so many events, I'm not sure what's important and what's just social. It's actually quite dizzying. In the span of two weeks, there were at least 3 parent events at night. I don't know if this slows as the school year pace becomes familiar, but for someone who usually needs to get a babysitter, it would be helpful to know what's critical.
• Too many room parents, liaisons, helpers, board members, administrators have the password to the electronic "push page." I receive far too many notices in my email box...it's getting noisy. They need a better communication plan to sharpen the reception.

Sense of Community for families: A+

• Parent involvement is highly encouraged, in indirect and direct ways. I've already done a lesson on hand-washing, and have plans to show pictures from Madagascar since the class has some new cockroaches.
• Families are encouraged to be inclusive: invite all the kids in the class, or just one of them. Don't leave kids out.
• There are a number of social events (see above) to meet and greet to your heart's content.
• Parents receive a "Facebook" with pictures of all the kindergarteners and teachers in the PMK for the purpose of planning playdates. Love that idea.
• There is the feeling that the teachers know you, know your child, and want your child to succeed.

Curriculum: A+

• Intriguing. It's both rigorous and easy at the same time: Ana's reciting real poems, learning French phrase work, shapes of lips for phonemes (THAT is some crazy but fascinating stuff there), keyboarding, clock reading, intense math...with real expectations (higher than mine might have been?) that she is meeting.
• Classic. She's learning songs that every kid should know--Camptown Races, When the Saints Go Marching In, Swinging on a Star, Hit the Road Jack! She has to run long distances each day. She has to file into the atrium to beautiful music everyday.
• PMK- Every afternoon, the kindergarten has a whole building dedicated to "centers"--collage, printmaking, a science lab, a building room, a reading loft, chess, puppetry...what a nice way to finish a rigorous day.
• Library--The library has to be the most impressive in the city. I love that my child can take home all she can carry each Friday. Her first week she chose a book for each member of the family. I LOVE that the schools policies reflect the value of literacy.

Teachers: A+

• Innovative, Research-driven approaches. Each parent receives a guide to their approaches entitled, "Everything about Teaching and Learning in Room 4." It explains the how and the why of everything that is done. Way to include parents in on the purpose.
• Ms. M1ller has been doing this for so long, as evidenced by the calm control she has...love that her eyes sparkle as she talks about it all. She loves what she does. She's stricter than many CD teachers--which I like.
• There's a bunny that hops around her room. Did I say that already? I LOVE that.

Overall, Ana has yet to have a bad day of school. She comes home shining and tired (and sometimes surly when I ask too many questions). She loves her school, speaks with it passionately, is excited by the Middle Ages, the transmission of sounds, the vibrations our lips make when we pronounce certain letters, drawing on the computer, endangered animals, estimating seeds, the song of the day, chess, and marble runs. She's just happy. And what else could a mama want?

And, while I won't hold it against either school--just for the record, why? gift wrap and chocolate???

Oliver is ONE!

How the time has flown with you, my littlest love!

Since you arrived in our hustle and bustle house, I've realized that our table was certainly missing you. Your sweet smile, and your intense gazes have brought a love we didn't know we were missing. Thank you, Oliver.

You're a boy, through and through, and love to wrestle, move, play with big body movements, and dance to music! My favorite thing you do is using objects under your hands to "cruise" on the ground instead of crawl. You go pretty darn fast on your homemade wheels too!

You love strumming the guitar, or trying to get the harmonica to sound, shaking a maraca or pounding the drum. You bounce to the slightest hint of music, and I see your lips moving slightly as if you're learning the lyrics.

It's impossible to get you to read a book. You'd much rather chew on books (which someone shared with me is a *critical* part of early literacy. It cracks me up!) than read them.

You like to pretend you're talking on the phone. With a phone. A remote. Anything that has buttons. And your babbling is loud and squaky. All the time, except when you're pursing your lips like a bird and OOohh-OOohhh-ing.

The other day, we saw some friends walking down Oak St, and I rolled down the car window. Ana called out to them, "Hello!" As we drove away, you waved your hand and hollered too. It's mostly like this when we are laughing, talking loudly, or relaying a story. You make your contribution to the general din of noise, and smile broadly.

You're as big as an ox, and in so many ways, we never had a baby period. You're so tremendously easy, sleeping from 6 to 6, fuss free, and honestly, I might remember a couple of weeks since you were born when that hasn't been the case. I'm so grateful for your easy going brightness. It reminds me of your dad, whom I love so dearly for his sweet and easy ways.

You have some words, especially "Mama" and "Dada". "Ana" is a new one. Ms. Gwen also heard you say "Snacktime..." not surprisingly(-; You repeat many sounds that we work to say, and read our lips so intently. I see you working up to "Elliot" and am pretty sure you're saying "Tita" to her delight. She's absolutely CRAZY about you, and we have to remind her not to pick you up constantly or rescue you from every cry. And when you see her, you're diving from our arms. Yes, that Tita has some good love.

You're passionate, and love to grab our faces with your two hands and

Your hair has curled and your ears are straightening a little, sadly. You're rolly polly, but up on those feet almost all the time now. We keep waiting for those walking days as you work up the courage to take 3-5 steps here and there.

You're so sweet and easy, Ollie, it's misleading...easy to get lulled into a false sense that all babies are this way. Thank you for being just who you are. We're enjoying every minute with you.

Lines we like at night

Shadows are waltzing,
Moonlight is calling

The miracle of your love found me

--from your sleepy Jewel lullaby CD...I'm SO grateful for how much you boys like it.

When you wake, you shall have
All the pretty little horses.

--I just like thinking about my kids waking up to horses.

All by myself I have to go
With none to tell me what to do-
All alone beside the streams
And up the mountainsides of dreams.
--from the Land of Nod (What DO they dream about??? There AWAKE time is SO fantastic!)

The stars around you gleam,
On you I press
With soft caress
A little lovely dream.
++++
My little angels, such small lumps swallowed up in the bigness of the bed and blankets...your sweet long lashes on your rosy chubby cheeks...bits of heaven here on earth.

Thoughts from bedtime

School has certainly wiped out my previous sleep-hold outs. I'm grateful that Ana and Elliot sleep well with less fuss these days. Still napless on weekends, but in bed for 8 is a good thing.

But my Olive, well, I almost wish you weren't such a "good" baby. You're in bed most nights at 6 pm. This means we have a good 30 minutes together--and that's not really time for lovin. It's feeding you (as you cry from exhaustion), bathing you (as you cry from exhaustion) and putting you in your crib ( where you lie down fuss free and sleep). Mornings are a no-go--you're sleeping from 6 to 6, when our morning circus starts. And of course, at school, I'm hiding so you aren't derailed by occasional sightings of me. I MISS YOU. And despite being a bit overwhelmed with work since I've been sick, I may just have to take your birthday off this Friday, and go to the zoo with you. (Shhh! Don't tell anyone. Except maybe dad).

Spped Racer

I love how Oliver places two smooth objects under each hand, mostly blocks, and just cruises as he crawls, letting his hands roll, and not lifting them in typical crawling fashion. Is he in a hurry or something?

Can't believe my little cutie turns one this coming Friday.

Catch up

There's too much to say, and I don't know how to chip away at it.
-Ana's started kindergarten. She is reciting poems, infusing French phrasework into everyday stuff, singing new songs ("Camp Town Races"), and working on this whole new approach to phonemic awareness that involves pictures of lips in various positions. And she glows. Each day that I pick her up, she's shining and bubbling over--or completely tired and surly. Both signs of a good day. Her friend is Mason. She's "the cutest thing you'll ever see in your life." And yes, she is--red-headed girl with pink glasses, and looks much smaller than the other kids- You like her because "she's not into Barbie and all that kind of stuff."
-I've done a lesson at her new school, signed up to be room parent, then backed out when I saw other candidates (and the many other ways there are to be involved). There are SO many events there, and we're participating in fits and starts. Feels good, and scary at the same time, to have Ana as part of "The Class of 2022!?"
-Elliot's started his four-year-old program. Lora Jane is his best friend. They sing songs about monkeys and happy and you know it on the Listening rug. Thomas hit him once. Thomas is his best friend(!?). He has chocolate milk everyday. He likes Haz3l Park.
-I've joined the PTO, and gotten the reluctant administrator to write the grant to Kaboom. I've come at the teachers full-on. And backed away when I saw they were just unorganized at the beginning. They care, and El's put them under his spell. And they communicate. And he's shining and bubbling over at pick up. At bedtime, after homework(!), Elliot nuzzles up, and gives me one word answers to the questions we've been told to ask...but he's so happy to talk about it with me. I've sent Lora Jane's family a note--coz there's no real way to meet each other over there. He talks about her every day. Even when there's no school. I've heard she has white blond hair. The picture of them in my head is priceless.
-Oliver loves being at Abeona House, and is just starting to walk around from here to there. He doesn't cry at drop off, but has discovered where I am, I think. He's asleep by 6 pm each night, which makes me kind of sad. There's little time for US to be US anymore. I know this will change as you get used to the routine...
-Kevin and I are managing the routine better than I thought. It's actually helped us to get organized. I'm trying to exercise, and am enjoying the little time I have once Kev brings the kids to school. I want to be a part of everything, and am working on picking and choosing. CD has a consuming social calendar, that I realized quickly I couldn't be a part of completely. I'm happy to meet the other parents, but honestly, want to be in the classroom. With both my kids. Doing little things here and there.
-My brother's 3 month anniversary is this coming Friday. I've reached an odd place (maybe coz I'm so busy) that it doesn't feel like it happened, and I'm mostly numb. Unless I think of a specific moment--or something triggers a painful memory. Sometimes I feel like it never happened. Ana asks me every month or so if I'll always be sad about it. I try to explain to her that it will always make me sad to think about. But I'm not generally sad. She seems confused about how I can be happy and sad all at once.
-Oliver will be a year old very shortly. He's such a jolly love...I can't believe (again) how quickly they grow and change.
-This flu has me scared...for my little ones, and for Elliot who is especially vulnerable.
-I'm looking into schools for Elliot for next year already.
-I'm kicking off a fall fundraising campaign for AH, planning a symposium at UNO while writing 4 grants due around the same time. And organizing the kids' tent thing for the PoBoy Fest. And if this grant comes through, I'm sure to help with this playground at El's school.
-And at the same time, Dad turns 75, Becky gets married in Austin, I turn 35, and Kevin and I celebrate our 7th year of wedded insanity.
-The reason for this litany of stuff TO DO is because one of the things that helps me get through all this stuff is reminding myself that this period is ONLY temporary. But honestly, I don't think I've had much down time. In a long time. How much of this do I create? And shouldn't I be grateful for every last bit of it? I'm just sayin'--somewhere in the To Do I'd love a girls-only weekend at the beach--or at a local spa--or at happy hour.