First Steps

Late August is a time for first steps for our kids...all big steps, all towards greater independence.

Today, Oliver, my 11 month-old hubba bubba, took 2 steps, then three in short succession. Ana, Elliot and I were all there to cheer him on, and he gave his trademark big-mouthed grin, with nose crinkle and eye twinkle. I know that by the end of this week, he'll be walking wherever he wants to. Including up the ramp to Abeona House, where he started this past week. He's adjusting there quite well, but some days are harder than others. And with such a generally cheerful guy, I find myself burying my head to hide the sounds of him crying. When I talk about how difficult it is with him in particular, with his temperament, Gwen shakes her head and laughs, "You were the same with Elliot. In fact, you were worse."

Which brings me to my big 4 year-old boy. This week, Elliot starts a 4 year-old program at Hazel Pa4k. It's a public school that seems to have it's act together. In my search for schools, I was amazed at what people pay for in parochial and private schools: worksheets, teacher-led learning...Jefferson parish schools had some of the very few constructivist, hands-on approaches to learning. With a good mix of teacher-led experiences in a typical classroom, with therapies on-site (that *still* subscribe to the pull-out special ed model that I hate), I know Elliot will get everything he needs. But oh, the trust of that, with my sweet boy. My sweet boy who 3.5 years ago was the reason I took my current job--I just had to be there, close to him, making sure he was getting what he needed...and he got so much more than I ever could have imagined. I can only hope that the loving teachers I met will fall under his spell--he's pretty irresistable. But as he leaves Abeona, he's also leaving his Friends. And Friend is a word that's being used around there quite a bit, as the boys move towards FOUR, they are declaring their unwavering loyalties, threatening each other with the withholding of affections, and squeezing each other with unspeakable intensity of emotion. He will be missed. And he will miss. And I will miss.

And my Ana dear, took a big step into big school--and man, is it BIG--it's a CAMPUS, populated by children as young as 2 and as old as 17. But I am ever-validated in my choice of this program for Ana...coming into her classroom, we were warned by the teacher, "Mind there's a bunny hopping around. Don't let him out!" Are you kidding me? As we entered, I saw the other animals near the windows that led to outside: guinea pig, cockateil cage, fish...as the teacher gave us the brief tour, she lifted the paper that hid the beehive, where bees were harvesting honey--from the side, I could see the acrylic tube that led to the butterfly garden...oh, my naturalist, you are home! Montessori activities were scattered here and there, intriguing any child who walked by...2 chess tables set up...the math center displayed the gears of a beautiful old music box, an old brass kaliedoscope, hour glasses of different lengths/times, colorful liquid elements floating at different temps on a suspended numberline...This made the traditional palatable--the calendar math, the desks for the 1st and 2nd graders who are in the mixed age room that face the board...a perfect blend of approaches--the labor of love of this amazing teacher who obviously has read and applied best practices over many many years...I'm excited about another place, another step where the focus is LOVE of Learning! No grades, good relationships...I just believe in this stuff...Since that bunny twitched his nose our way 5 days ago, you've shared nothing but excitement and intrigue over your new big school...and the more folks I meet, the more I realize that I'm going to be as awkward as I allow myself to be...people are people.

We're all growing up. I'm making friends as are you...you just seem better at it than I am, Ana...maybe a tire swing would help the grown-ups?

My sweet children. Watching you grow is equal parts delight and dread. You are so beautifully perfect in your ways of seeing the world...I hope the world will return the favor.

Elliot is FOUR

It's hard to believe. Elliot, you continue to amaze us each day...with your sweet spirit, your big heart, and your perserverence.

Right now, you're talking up a storm, and putting together complex ideas...asking why, and explaining things with because. You begin most explanations with "actually"--you say it so fast it sounds like "ashley." And, of course, we stop everything to hear what you have to say.

You're a pinball, bouncing from thing to thing, but we're (finally?) giving you some tools to get it all out--you love your birthday nerf swords, and are slashing us left and right (we have swords too!)...new musical instruments, and setting your room up like a music studio are great channels for that energy...you especially love your new piano from your Tia Ella.

You are a great big brother to Oliver, and love playing with him. Whenever you talk to him, you slip into "motherease" and are so sweet and tender and your voice gets so high...Ollie's eyes are so full of love for you. You like sharing with him, which we need to watch closely...the baby can't have some of your sprite or french fry just yet, big guy.

You got a new bike and are *this close* to being able to pedal. If we could just get you to look up while you ride!!! We might need to get insurance on your new Thomas bike, cause I see some minor disasters a-coming.

I've loaned you to dad for the last 4 years, but it looks like you're mine again. I'm happy you seek me out more, and want to snuggle, and come to me for a hug when you're hurt. You're the best snuggler, and I feel so warm and happy when you hold me.

Finley said you were his best friend the other day, and that was the best news ever.

Every park is "your Hazel Pa4K"--where you'll attend school in a few weeks...

You're jumping off of everything, including the JCC dive board...backwards I might add.

There are so many things going on with you--it's hard to keep up...But watching you grow is the best gift...and there are so many people (more than we realize, I'm sure) who love you too.

Happy Birthday, sweet guy. I love you--the whole world.