Monosyllabic

Lifted from another blog:
Answer all thirty-five questions using only one word. It’s harder than it looks. Give it a try on your blog.
1. Where is your cell phone? broke
2. Relationship? love
3. Your hair? dull
4. Work? nuts
5. Your sister? who
6. Your favorite thing? time
7. Your dream last night? squid
8. Your favorite drink? chai
9. Your dream car? works
10. The room you’re in? mess
11. Your shoes? worn
12. Your fears? weak
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? dive
14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? kids
15. What you’re not good at? time
16. Muffin? cat
17. One of your wish list items? paint
18. Where you grew up? here
19. The last thing you did? type
20. What are you wearing? clothes
21. What aren’t you wearing? shoes
22. Your pet? none
23. Your computer? stinks
24. Your life? full
25. Your mood? smug
26. Missing? piece
27. What are you thinking about right now? words
28. Your car? drives
29. Your kitchen? small
30. Your summer? hot
31. Your favorite color? red
32. When is the last time you laughed? Will
33. Last time you cried? ears
34. School? daze
35. Love? Kev

Best of Home

I was just lovin' my city today...I felt the community spirit-

7:30 am: Oak Street Meeting at Ms. Norma's Queen of The Ball (she's such the hostess...no fruit-stuft snoballs that early, but always coffee and donuts from Oak Street Cafe).

8:30 am: Thursday morning at Abeona House, sharing a watermelon picnic with the ONES

9:45 am: Shared a knowing smile with the Grant Administrator at the Greater New Orleans Foundation as I handed her our 501(c)3 letter. Could it be we are getting that $10,000 Starbucks grant???

10:20 am: Pow-wow with Cindy of Maple Street Children's Books about how we can possibly partner in support of family literacy. She'd taken it upon herself to order some books for our Home unit funded by the Junior League of New Orleans. I always feel like Cindy is in my corner. And I feel personally invested in her success. How can I get our families to shop there more? I also picked up a copy of Catwings (no, you cannot Search Inside! this one) the new chapter books my big girl Ana and I are reading. She's riveted for the first 40 pages. The last 10 are more challenging. But she wants to hear it all!

10:45 am: Strategic planning meeting with my boss at Rue and Gelato Pazzo. Panini lunches always make me smile.

1 pm: Back at work, meeting with our great Assistant Director.

5:30 pm: 2 mile walk pushing *gasp* the kids *gasp*. I'm going to have to get back in my morning routine after missing Wednesday, so I can go without the 80lb push. But I have to say, I was excited to see that the wild rabbits were out, and I could show them to Ana. She tried to approach one, but it bounded back into the woods. Elliot couldn't quite spot them, with the woods and brush as distractions.

On our way home, I ran the stroller down the levee toward the batture, and we walked through the woods by trail toward the river. There were 4 men and a woman there catching ENORMOUS catfish. One was about the size of Elliot! This yielded some interesting questions from Ana who had previously asked what we would do if we did not go to the store to get food or had no money (growing vegetables, hunting, digging in the trash--to her disgust-- were my answers. feel free to comment). She was excited to see some form of hunting in action. I rebuffed the gracious offers to let her touch the slowly suffocating creature. I can only imagine what her dreams will be like tonight.

6:30 pm: Long talk with Mr. Red, one of our favorite neighbors who lets Ana pick his kumquats, and Elliot chase his poodles

Lovin' my people today. I was recently talking to Cindy about being evacuated, and she commented on how many people she saw wherever she was. Our experience in Panama City Beach was quite the opposite. I remarked that what I missed most was seeing all those people who I kind of knew...my dry cleaner, book vendor, the girl I went to 5th grade with. Every where I went in Panama City Beach, my daily interactions were with strangers. I knew I'd track down my best friends, relatives, co-workers. But my missing network of community...I wasn't so sure.

Today I felt like I was home. Familiar strangers. That's what I love about New Orleans.

Elliot's Hearing Test

Yay! El's left ear is retaining his hearing (unchanged since birth) and he passed the test today with FLYING COLORS!

Those tubes are working, and he's hearing great!

Yay, El!

Maple Street Children's Book Shoppe

I'm reading this morning at 11. Hope to see you there!

It's only 2 pounds

But I feel damn good!

It's only two pounds, but I feel like it's ten.

I'm really enjoying my morning walks, most days with my friend Georgia, somedays alone, if she's had a long night with lovely baby Amaya. I can't believe that today is DAY 10! I've been walking since last Monday, with a day off on Sunday.

Today, it wasn't quite as humid at 7 am as it has been, so the walk itself was really enjoyable.

However, one of the reasons that gets me dressed each morning is the promise of seeing wild rabbits on the batture, nibbling on grass or listening tentatively. I've seen up to 6 at a time, usually in the spot behind the Rivershack bar.

I'm slowly extending the walk, and think that this week, I'll be walking to the stable (2.5miles), which means my walk will soon include quail, peacock, horses, and roosters. It's a lovely way to start the day, and it feels good just taking a little time for myself.

Best Kiss Ever

They say your first kiss is the best kiss. I won't go into the details of that slobbery ordeal at age 12, but it couldn't have been as good as the kisses I'm getting these days.

Mr. El is now puckering up! That lower lip that he sometimes lets hang open is now showing up for a full-on SMOOCH with sound effects! Now, I loved getting my open-mouthed numbers, where he would put my nose or cheek in his mouth, but these smaks are so good.

I think his new sippy cup (with creds to his speech therapist) is what's making a difference. The NUBY Sports Sipper with a straw top (instead of the hard plastic square mouthpieces) forces him to suck...

Elliot's also talking a blue streak about any and everything, sleeping through the night (for the first time!), and back to his pre-op walking pace.

But the best news, by far, is los besitos.

Life with a Three Year Old

In the span of a 30 minute car ride, two comments:

Comment One: "If you and daddy died, there would be no one to protect me."

Comment Two:

A: Excuse me.

Me: What was that?

A: Bubbles.

More on struggling with conversations about life and death later...There's not much more to say on the topic of Bubbles.

Father's Day

How do you teach a child the meaning of love?

Is it by listening and paying attention, showing them that their ideas, struggles and accomplishments have value?

Yes, that. Without question.

And here's the little extra Kevin gives to Ana and Elliot that shows them the meaning of love each day:

• It's the strawberry (with the leaves cut off) on the plate of pancakes you make when I'm thinking, "Today is a cereal day."


• It's the long anecdote after work about the child who came into the restaurant...it's like each child in the world is yours too.


• The surrendering of sleep...and your ties and shoes...just perfect for Ana's constant games of dress up and baby.


• It's the bottle of bubbly water you bring home from work cause you know Ana loves it. Even though she won't be awake when you get home.


• Or knowing exactly how to get an instant belly laugh out of Elliot.


• It's making funny faces at the doctor to distract the baby from a shot or medicine.


• Or stopping at the Farmer's Market on a Tuesday just for avocado popsicles.


• Stalking the online clearance racks for the cutest kids' clothes (I don't think you can help yourself(-;)


• Asking Ana each day, "Do you know what? I think I forgot to tell you something today. I love you."

A thousand small kindnesses each day. What a tremendous example to me and our children you are, Kevin. Thank you for being on this journey with me, and for sharing your gentle love with us. I believe Ana and Elliot are and will be confident and loving because of how intensely and thoroughly you give to them. Happy Father's Day, Baby. You really are the best.

And to my own daddy, so far away in Honduras...

Happy Father's Day. We miss you and love you. Come back to us soon, safe and sound.

Only in New Orleans

Here's what my best friend did to her unsightly trash bin.

I think we should all follow suit.

For more details on her ideas and inspiration, visit her blog.

I'm just starting to wonder what Abeona's will look like-

Weekly Report

I haven't blogged all week...here are my top stories:

• Elliot is not walking much since he got tubes. This is not standard, but not cause for enough alarm to warrant us bringing him back into the hospital. If it's not better within the week, then we have to call the doctor back. Otherwise, he's happy.
• I've been walking the last three mornings with my neighbor Georgia. 2 miles in the heat of 7 am.
  
• The thief pilfering our wares and those of our neighbors has been caught.
• Kevin will be on CH. 4 tonight with the follow-up.
  

Emmy

The unintended consequences of crime

Last night when passing out our flyers, Georgia and I were surprised to run into two women...mirrors of ourselves, walking door-to-door, handing out different flyers. It turns out our fellow neighbors had felt similarly inspired to fight against this thief, who coincidentally has pilfered at least 10 homes in 9 days. Their flyer was promoting a new Yahoo group for our neighborhood, and calling for support for the Night OUt Against Crime in August. I felt our cause bolstered by their presence, and we quickly agreed to join forces. I came away thinking about the power of community, and of women. Didn't I tell ya I lived in a great neighborhood? It's certainly worth fighting for.

In any case, our party is gathering steam. One of those ladies went to rep. Elton Lagasse's office today, and came away with information and support. And today, on channel 4, Kevin and I, and another neighbor, will be interviewed about the problem. Let's hope I did OK.

Totally Tubular

The tubes are in. Elliot was a rock star through the whole thing. The staff at Children's Hospital is always notable. Extra loving, efficient, and thoughtful. And excuse me for bragging, but Elliot is a charming boy, and in typical fashion, forged relationships with so many folks, even though we were only there for 4 hours.

It did turn out that he needed some of his adenoids "shaved." That just sounds like nails on the chalkboard to me. The surgeon It's comforting to know that he did have a situation back there that was affecting his ENT. Hopefully, things will be better for him.

Right now he's sleeping off the anesthesia. I'm hoping he'll be 100% to celebrate Jamie's birthday tomorrow.

Thank you all for your good thoughts, prayers, and chants.

Block Party

Ana walked with my friend Georgia and I as we distributed flyers announcing the planning meeting for the block party.

Over the course of the walk, Ana heard different versions of why we were having the party. After a few houses, she was in dialogue about the rash of crime, and people stealing from "that house, and that house, and then they came to that house over there." Sometimes, she would offer a simple, "We're having a block party," and hand them the handbill. This was all a very different way to spend our twilight hours.

At the last house we visiting on the next street over, came the words that would have me rethinking all our interactions that night through Ana's eyes:

Neighbor: I'll bring some cookies. Is that all right? And I'll ask X to bring something too.

Me: Great. Thank you. We'll see you Sunday.

Ana (calling after the woman as she walks away): And don't forget your blocks.

Neighbor: Excuse me?

Ana: (with great authority) Don't forget your blocks. It's a block party.

(-; Fighting crime, one lego at a time.

Tubes

In 30 minutes, we will be going to Children's Hospital to have Elliot's tubes inserted. Please keep us in good thought.

I am a little nervous, and thinking about the surgeon talking with us in advance, and Elliot being given the hydrochorate makes me want to cry.

I know this is a fairly standard procedure. Telling myself that never makes it feel much easier.

I'll let you all know how things go.

It's OFFICIAL!

Yesterday, we recieved news from the IRS that Abeona House is now officially a 501(c)(3) organization!

All of our hard work, vindicated with a stroke of the pen.

I don't know if I have fully internalized what this means for us, long-term. But I do feel with great certainty that what we have built at Abeona House has lasting value. That means so much to me. I do feel, in my dramatic romanticism, that in my daily work, what I do must mean something, must effect some kind of change, must have impact. I now feel that the impact of this organization will outlast me. We can begin in earnest to work to influence the face of childcare in the city, and what it should look like.

I'm so proud to be a part of this group of parents, willing to shape what might not already exist, because of their commitment to their children and families, and other families.

That's enough of what this means to me. Here's what this might mean to you: all your donations to Abeona House are now tax-deductible! To learn more about Abeona, please visit our website, and be a part of shaping a healthy New Orleans one young child at a time.

Elliot's First Day at Brigh1 School

Today was El's first day at Brigh1. We left the house earlier than usual, and somewhat more stressed...did we have everything he would need? Would we be there on time? Anxiety about how he might respond.....

Like always, my fears were unfounded. He gravitated immediately to the large store of toys, and the rocking horse, which I knew he'd love when we toured.

I asked so many questions, and knew immediately, "Yes, I am that Pain-in-the-Ass parent. Nice to meet you. I will always be this way. Get used to it."

There were 4 other children with a wide-range of issues: two with cochlear implants (available only for children with bilateral deafness), one with CP, like El and a hearing aide, and another child who seemed hard of hearing. 5 kids. 5 teachers (among them two 8th grade boys getting service hours. Really cool BIG BOYS for El to admire). LOTS of attention.

In the first 10 minutes there, I learned the signs for boat, plane, train, car, and bus, as Elliot attended to a puzzle on transportation with a teacher. With each completed piece, the teacher would prompt him to sign "more." Since he did this so readily (Yes, with both hands), she would prompt him to sign "please" as well, letting me know that when he knows one sign, push him to do two.

We left after I was satisfied that he would be loved, stimulated, safe...and he let us go. My tears came as we closed the door. I've never really left Elliot. He's always been just down the hall from me. I took the job at Abeona House because I needed to work, and needed to be in tune with his therapies. Soon after I learned that there were so many other players with something to give to our Elliot. This first day was another example of that.

When we came back, he was happy, and didn't want to leave. We sat and played a game of audiotory bingo, and played some instruments. It was a real adjustment getting used to how LOUD the music was played.

I enjoyed spending time with Elliot's new friends. Each of them different, with their own challenges. Each of them beautiful, and loved, and happy to be in a space where they are learning at their own pace with others who understand. What blessings we have in our life, always seeing the adage of "it takes a village to raise a child" at work, and slowly letting our son go, into the world.

Elliot's big week

Monday will be Elliot's first day at the Brigh1 School for the Deaf. He will be there from 8:30-11:30. He will have his snack there. We will both drop him off. We'll hang out for a while. Then Kevin will bring him to Abeona for lunch.

I'm a bit nervous, leaving him somewhere that feels still unknown to delve into coping with this hearing loss. If they aren't drawn to him, his charm and charisma, and if I don't hear about it in some form within 30 minutes, we might have to leave.

Just kidding. But that's how I really feel.

Friday, Elliot will have tubes put in. We've now learned from his speech therapist who is just golden that having his adenoids taken out could result in "increased nasality" and further challenge some of his speech challenges and mouth motor issues as the adenoid-removal would make his palate higher, and require even more strength back there. So we'll have to ask the surgeon to "scrape carefully"if at all. Sometimes it feels like each step forward has a caveat.
In any case, I'm grateful (always) for our amazing support team that raises this issues before the fact...Early Intervention is a GOD-SEND. I cannot champion this enough.

Please keep Elliot in your thoughts and prayers this week (and always).

One giant step for El-kind

My son walks.

He is now a walker.

He now walks more than crawls.

He walks with a sippy cup in his hands.

He walks to look around the house.

He will be two in two months. I honestly think he'll be running by then.

Elliot, you are my hero. How many moms get to say that about their toddlers? I'm sure not many wish it, but they don't understand. The gift of watching you grow beyond expectation reminds me of the power of faith, determination, and love. I'm so proud to be your mom, my walking guy. You're a superstar.

When life gives you lemons...

I actively fight feelings of powerlessness with gestures of defiance. It's definitely a part of my chemical make up. I have made myself do many things just to squelch the feeling of fear that exists inside...like scuba diving with my history of near-death drowning episodes. I don't like feeling afraid. I hardly let myself. I guess I should work on that?

So with this newest violation of our home's sanctity, how should I respond? Hunker down with a shotgun? Pretend nothing happened? Hire neighborhood security? Not my style.

We are planning a neighborhood block party.

Hopefully, no one will pilfer our homes while we guzzle down a cold one.

But truly, how else can we fight crime but through facilitating communication and encouraging a greater sense of community? DO you know that the theft in our garage was one of 10 that happened in the span of a week? I just learned tonight that someone on the next block was heldup in their driveway while putting away groceries. I think if this happened to us again, we would pack our bags and head out of town. No time like Hurricane Season.

Kevin says he feels like a pig. And every once in a while, someone just comes along and takes a piece of meat off of him.

I'm just pissed. Pissed that I can't pull my kids along in their bike wagon for a bike ride. Pissed that someone was in OUR yard, shopping OUR trash and treasure.

I will fight the fear that should exist in place of my anger. But I only have so much fight in me. And the list of battles just seems to grow.